Artist...student...lesbian...someone new

Sunday, July 03, 2005

a blurb and a joke

Every night this week I've been up in the middle of the night to take my antibiotic... I have to take it with something to eat and then stay upright for at least 30 minutes (it gives wicked bad hearthburn...that's the instructions on the bottle). So I've been up in a pain-pill induced stupor attempting to read email, etc....

I think I pretty much lost my sense of humor, though, until tonight (cuz I'm off the pain pills for now, yay!).....

so here's a really funny joke I got in my email tonight:


Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.On the seventh day of God's mysterious disappearance, Archangel Michael found him resting on a tiny cloud.He inquired of God, "Where have You been?"God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people."God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large landmass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers ofpeace. I'm also going to give them superhuman, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all whocome across them."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them."