Exhausted. Emotionally. Physically.
After finals week, there was Xmas. On Xmas day we packed, cleaned, and rushed out the door at noon to drop Joshua off with my family. Then we did a nine hour trip in the rain and VERY heavy fog to Ithaca, NY.
We arrived at 3am, checked into a hotel, got a little bit of sleep, and then woke up to drive around the area, checking out everything from the mall to housing situations. The area is magnificent. No other way to describe it. Beautiful lakes imbedded deep into the valleys of a mountain range, with waterfalls, steeply winding roads down the sides of the mountains, lots of nature, and tons of culture. Nice, intelligent, liberal people living there. People smiled at us, they greeted us, they talked to us... we even met with the president of the chamber of commerce (who graduated from Cornell and is a woman). Ithaca has a booming economy which is educationally based, rather than manufacturing based. The big box stores were kept to a minimum (no supercenter wal mart there and no bj's or sam's club) and on the outskirts of town so that nothing interferes with the free enterprise of the smaller stores.
One store, Wegman's, was like walking into the Wonka chocolate factory. The only way to describe it is "overwhelming." The market is a gourmet grocer's wet dream. Fresh spices in bulk, every kind imaginable. Fresh produce overflowing from pristine bins that were grown directly on the farms right outside of town. Every type of candy imaginable lines the back wall. Gourmet marinades and glazes, gourmet coffees such as the one I'm drinking this morning (I couldn't resist) -- Orange coffee. Lisa and I walked around this store in amazement. It was unreal. A real butcher behind the meat counter. Probably twenty types of oranges and apples to choose from. Every kind of salad imaginable.
They are one of the top ten largest employers in the area. They are also considered one of the best employers in the area, as well. They offer great starting pay, benefits, and paid vacations.
Visiting Cornell University was also a fabulous experience. Lovely rolling hills with buildings older than my ancestors. Big, brick, historical monuments set against lush trees and walking trails around a waterfall cut through the side of the mountain. Unfortunately, it was still extremely foggy in the area, so we had a hard time seeing the bottom of the waterfall, but my legs itched to walk down there so I could take pictures.
Ithaca bakery is also among our top 5 best places in the area. A little bakery set along a one-way major commuting route that connects the Pyramid Mall area with the downtown Ithaca commons, the bakery has fresh EVERYTHING, including bagels, cappuccino, fresh cannolis, and all sorts of ethnic foods. We ate there two mornings in a row (because we KNOW that Lisa must have her bagel, damnit -- LOL). Lesbian central. Several lesbian couples walked in and out both mornings. Several smiled at us. The cashier on the first morning, we believe, was perhaps also a lesbian, and quite nice to us. Our bagels were served with large slices of tangy grapefruit the first morning and sweet, juicy orange slices the next morning. The bagels were perfectly crusty on the outside, delectable on the inside.
Again, we fell in love.
Tuesday evening, however, Lisa kept trying to call her grandparents. No luck. They wanted to know how our trip was going and how we liked the area. We kept calling. Nothing.
Lisa had a feeling something was wrong by 10 pm when there was still no answer at their apartment. At around 11:30, she finally reached her step grandfather, Robert, who told us that her grandmother was very sick and in the hospital. She was in a lot of pain, but the doctors didn't know what it was yet.
All morning on Wednesday we waited for another call. We continued to drive around the area. We drove north to the Auburn area, fell in love with a few of the tiny villages along the route back, and started dreaming of living there.
We got back to the hotel around 2 pm and Lisa called her grandmother in the hospital. She was tired and in pain, but otherwise in decent spirits. She told Lisa she'd love to see her, but knew it would be a hassle if she came.
About twenty minutes later Robert called. Grandmother wasn't doing so well, despite the good spirits. Within an hour, Lisa and I were headed to Florida, driving like banshees.
From 4pm on Wednesday, when we left Ithaca proper, to 3pm on Thursday, we drove straight through to Tampa, only stopping long enough to pee and sleep for 1/2 an hour along the way.
At around 12:30 am, we received a phone call from Robert, telling us that grandma had gone into respiratory arrest and was now on life support.
We drove even faster at that point. Lisa's gut insticts had been correct.
Arriving in Tampa at around 3pm Thursday, we went directly to the hospital. Robert, it seemed, had been waiting for Lisa to arrive, to say her goodbyes, before pulling the life support from grandma.
Lisa said her tearful goodbyes. A little later we went to eat something, came back, and Robert and Lisa discussed options with the doctor. There was essentially very little hope even if she woke up from her unconscious state. Lisa and Robert had hard decisions to make the following morning, depending upon what the CT scan test results were.
The next morning, Lisa prepared herself to let her grandmother go. If the CT scan showed a perforated bowel or infection, there would be nothing to do except pull life support and let the woman go.
Arriving at the hospital at 7 am Friday morning, we were both jumpy and saddened. We practically ran to the room after getting lost in the hospital's new corridors on the ground floor.
We arrived at the CCU room expecting the doctors to tell them to pull the life support.
However...
We arrived at the room to find a somewhat coherent grandmother, trying to spell out her needs with her finger.
She had woken up within the previous half hour, groggy from the sedatives, but otherwise coherent. No brain cells had died from the lack of oxygen when she went into respiratory arrest. She was still as sharp as she always was... and let us know it at the soonest possible moment.
By Saturday morning they had taken her life support and tube feeding. She was recovering well and was given real food to eat.
It was amazing.
This woman who was so close to death...
It was truly incredible.
By the time we left on Sunday she was using a walker to shuffle along with and was going to be moved out of the critical care unit to a regular private room.
I talked to her yesterday, on the phone, and even though she is still complaining about how AWFUL the food is, she is in great spirits and is supposed to be put through rehabilitation therapy soon so perhaps she may go home within a few weeks.
Lisa and I are still amazed. Her grandmother is 95 years old. They won't open her up for surgery because of this fact, regardless of what the problem may be. Doesn't matter, though, it appears that this woman is tough as nails and may outlive us all.
New Year's eve found us asleep in the hotel room at about 10pm. We didn't watch anything drop except for our eyelids.
Sunday afternoon we began driving back. For three days we drove between 10 and 12 hours a day, making our way back up the east coast. We slept each night in a hotel, getting only about 6 1/2 hours of sleep before we were up at 6 am the next morning, driving again.
We drove through downpours and snowstorms. We almost got killed by a semi truck in New York state near NYC on I-95 as it almost squished us up against a jersey wall. Both Lisa and I truly thought it was the end for us at that point. The truck pulled over without seeing us next to him and pushed us against the cement wall for several seconds. Just before we ran into the wall, he pulled back over, seeing us just in time.
Lisa is a fabulous driver. I owe her my life for saving us that day.
After finally arriving in Maine Tuesday afternoon, we drove through Auburn rush hour at 5pm and made our way to Rumford, where we picked Joshua up from my Aunt's house. Joshua hadn't had a bath or brushed his teeth in seven days it seemed. He stunk of cigarette smoke. He was chubby from all of the junk food and had large circles under his eyes from dehydration because they only gave him water or soda all week.
We finally arrived home at about 8pm Tuesday evening. The cats were ravenous. There was puke all over the basement floor. It seemed the person who was supposed to feed and take care of all of our animals hadn't done a great job. The cats were only fed once a day, instead of twice. They were so hungry and starving they found ant bait under one of the cupboards and chewed their way through the plastic jar. That's where the puke had come from. Luckily, when we called poison control, they assured us that the animal would probably be ok, the chemical in the ant bait was the same as that used in animal de-wormer medicine.
Good thing, too, because with 11 cats in the house it would have been very difficult to figure out which one to treat.
The chickens hadn't been let out of the barn all week. Their water was frozen and they had stopped laying eggs. They had feather pecked each other out of bordem.
The hardwood floors were dingy with a film. It took us a few hours to figure out why.
This person had trudged through the house with their boots, tracking in salt, sand, and snow, all through the house, instead of using the towels we had left by the door for JUST that purpose and even TOLD them to use the towels because of the hardwood floors. Instead of using the towels, though, they had tracked in everything and then decided to try to clean the floors before we came home.
Instead of sweeping the floors first, they tried to mop up the salt, gritty sand, and water stains with Murphy's oil soap spray. The salt and sand had scraped along the floors, leaving a white, gritty film all over the house. Little piles of sand had been scooted into the corners of the kitchen.
I thought Lisa was going to blow a gasket. I almost blew a gasket.
Responsible, intelligent people seem to be scarce these days.
Between my own family and the person taking care of the animals, it appears that responsibility is only something WE own.
That night, we put Joshua into a shower, got him into bed after a hot meal and a glass of milk. He was exhausted and fell into a deep sleep within moments.
I stayed home with Joshua yesterday. He needed an extra day off from school. He hadn't been home in over a week. He hadn't even played with his Xmas presents since we had all left on Xmas day. Poor kid.
He had a great day with me, though.
Unfortunately, however, Lisa got called into work early in the morning. They needed her to work all day. She was so tired, I don't know how she did it. But she did.
It was one of the longest nine days of my life.
We both swore we would never leave the animals (or Josh) again for that long without making DAMN sure the people are responsible and think like we do about caring for animals and children.
Needless to say, I'm staying home today again, going to try to catch up on laundry and housework while Lisa goes back to work again.
Only one truly good thing came out of all of this.
Ithaca, NY.
Lisa and I literally fell in love with the area. The economy, the housing, the picturesque views... it was a magnificent thing to see and be a part of. We want to try to move there if we can. It may take a while to save up, but we are going to try.
